Drink a couple of beers before going to bed

Life is a bitch.
Then you get insomnia.

Damn you, ABC!

Life is a bitch.
Then they cancel Flash Forward.

Go to grocery shopping regularly

Life is a bitch.
Then you wake up and there is no coffee.

Leave the fork and go for a run, damn it!

Life is a bitch.
Then you gain 20 pounds.t.

Run to the basement

Life is a bitch.
Then you hear the tornado warning siren.

Don't have spicy food for dinner.

Life is a bitch.
The you wake up in the morning, after a dinner with panang salmon.

Check you code for bugs

Life is a bitch.
Then you start writing codes in Fortran.

Was another Terminator really needed?

Life is a bitch.
Then you watch Terminator Salvation.

Don't waste your time.

Life is a bitch.
Then you read Naomi Klein's No Logo.

Be wise in your investments

Life is a bitch.
Then you buy greek treasury bonds.

Stay healthy

Life is a bitch.
Then you get kidney stones.